I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
