you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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