Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
