I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
