i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
