I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
