That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
