She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
