Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
