You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
