can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
