I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
