This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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