Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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