These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
