the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You took a bar mat shot.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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