I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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