Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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