the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
