I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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