I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
