O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
