lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
