she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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