8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
as a side note pls kill me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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