We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
