I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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