The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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