My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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