New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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