3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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