Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
