She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
