New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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