if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
