we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i believe in u and ur pee
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
