I just gift wrapped bread.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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