I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
