I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
