I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
