She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
