Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
