My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
