Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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