he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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