Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
