You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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