just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
