Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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