garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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