I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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