Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
