I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am one with the molecules
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
