Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
